Blogging & Yapping!

It's occurred to me lately that I have this strange, unbearable craving to be human.

Good afternoon.
Summer break has been so unbelievably boring so far.
I thought I would enjoy doing the same things I have been for my entire life — drawing, playing video games, watching funny people play video games, surfing the web, reading, and the whole shebang in the company of my lonesome — but I'm honestly surprised to find myself dissatisfied and restless. I believed I'd be relieved to be out of the massive city my university's in and out of my shitty little dorm room, but I think university had made me used to being around so many people all of the time; whether they be instructors, acquaintances, coworkers, strangers, friends, or ex-fuckbuddies. I knew I was cooked when I was searching for community events to attend, goddamn. I'll try to participate in Art Fight this year (here's my profile! But the site's down at the time of writing!), despite the sheer number of full-body references I've gotta churn out. This is probably gonna be the most exciting thing about my summer, despite how drained I'll be…
I guess I'm also used to going on outings whenever I want. I mean, I can still do that now, but I've lived in my hometown for my entire life and kind of already know everything here. Plus, everything here is so far apart compared to the city I was in for university, but maybe I'm just pissy because I live in a pretty unremarkable area.

Okay school's over. Everyone go home.
University was awful. Like, I think that was one of the worst years of my goddamn life and that's saying something, considering COVID and all that.
The days were too slow and the weeks were too fast. It felt like I spent every second of my time glued to Canvas assignments and homework programs that cost me $80 or over. The constant dread about school fees and getting so demoralized by the Dining Hall food that I just began to go out to eat every day. My math teacher who was probably one bad day away from calling his class the R-slur. My shitty awful terrible no-good convenience store job where someone cleaned her pussy with a workplace water fountain and wiped it after she was done in broad daylight… My grades are dogshit despite trying so damn hard to study all of the time. I can't even tell if I'm upset or exhausted or confused or enraged or apathetic. The only thing I can think of is, "Well, I hope I do better next time." I didn't fail any classes though. Hooray.
I'm just glad it's over, I guess. I don't think I could handle any more of that. Maybe I should ask someone about accommodations if I ever get to attend university again, because it felt my brain was being crushed by a hydraulic press for a solid 75% of my time there.

Well, it's been a while… a month and some change. Life is a cruel, evil thing, huh? It's spring though! Winter's finally over at long last (in the northern hemisphere)! Isn't that awesome!?
Where I live, spring has lovingly manifested itself as violent thunderstorms, hail, and tornadoes. To be honest, I truly do love me some storms, but I could do without my res hall's intercoms blasting their warnings at me every five minutes. Shit, the best case scenario would be if I got swept up in one of those funnels, lest I find myself cursed to study for my ten billion exams, like I am now.

Good morning!
It's finally March, thank fuck. Spring and warmer days are rearing their heads! Although, where I live, they seem keen on manifesting themselves through dense morning fog. Hm…
Anywho, despite all the pleasantries of spring, midterms for me are steadily approaching. That stinks, since it feels like life's been chucking things at me nonstop since January for literally no reason and I haven't a smidgen of a clue as to what's happening in my life ever. Adulthood's a real serious bitch, I suppose.

Good morning!
I've been playing Ultrakill again quite a bit recently in light of Fraud's release. I haven't touched the game since I played so much of it in high school that I got carpal tunnel when the Violence layer first came out (and my grades suffered because the game was all I could think about), so, it's nice to finally be able to embrace it after so long.
That being said, I am — unfortunately — very rusty. It's not horrible, but it's horrible to me!! I feel like a failure! My >230 hours amounted to nothing! At least relearning how to play is always fun, right?

Good morning!
My introductory electrical engineering (EE) class is talking about switches and relays and I feel like a nerd for recognizing those terms from a Technology Connections video on YouTube talking about Williams' 1970s Aztec pinball machine in depth. But also like that one guy pointing GIF when I first heard the instructor spit the word "relay" out of his mouth LMFAO.